Being in the early/mid twenties while pursuing higher studies to end up in a better career and being single in a South Asian country is not an easy task for a woman. Everyone you encounter, probably has the same set of questions to ask from you during a casual conversation; “What do you study and what do you want to be?” “Do you have a boyfriend?”, “When are you getting married?” and so on. Very rarely you find a few sensible people who will go into much intellectual talk beyond this traditional frame of thinking. People never are aware of the uncomfortable situation you put the other person into.
In my opinion, this mindset is not something that comes with a person’s education, but from his/her cultural and family background. Education in fact, can contribute towards changing a person’s attitudes if that person is daring enough to step out of the traditional box of thought .Though I have titled this post with specific reference to young women, there isn’t much of a difference for young men in their mid twenties as well when it comes to casual talk with random people,relatives,etc.
As a person who has remained single ever since I can remember, now it is hard to even imagine what being in a relationship is like. All these years have moulded me into an independent woman who only loves the company of my family and a few good friends. But this does not mean that I do not long to be in a romantic relationship. Everyday I hear about or get updates through social networks about the relationships of my friends and seeing them happy with their partners always make me secretly long for a partner. Every time I see my parents happily spending each passing day more romantically than the previous day, always make me want to find a partner who will stay by my side “until Death do us part.”
I have always wished for a partner who resembles my father who has played a great role in transforming me into a strong, independent woman. In a culture where fathers attempt to maintain some distance from their daughters and consider their daughters as a burden, I consider myself lucky forever for being blessed with a father who held my hand in every step I took. He stood by me in every decision I have taken in life and gave me all the freedom to do whatever I wanted. Girls of my age who get their driving licence as soon as they reach the legal age, do not get their parents’ vehicle to drive. But he, he gives me the car to go to uni and go for classes whenever I ask for and he goes to work by bike even if he has to get soaked in the rain. This is just one example of the sacrifices he makes to make our lives more comfortable.
However, this does not mean that my mother was not supportive of whatever I did. She indeed is the backbone of the whole family who gives strength to each one of us to succeed in everything we do. She is the superwoman I always try to follow but always fail because I never am so efficient as she is.When I compare myself with my mother, I sometimes think if it is right for me to dream for a partner like my father, when I cannot even match up to the level of my mother. But still I live with the same hope that someday I will find my prince-charming who will at least have 75% of the qualities that my father has while I try to reach the level of awesomeness of my mother.
Someday, I will find the perfect but flawed partner whom I would accept with open arms. Until then, I will remain busy making myself a suitable partner for that person whom I still haven’t met.